Too often we see grown folks falling all over themselves trying to cater to their parents financially, ie buying them the latest gadget, trips, house/car upgrades, etc. Even living their lives by their parent's standards, i.e., doing what their parents wished they had done themselves when they were younger. This may include going to college when what they really want to do was to become an artist or start a band. Some have no desire to be parents themselves but give in to the pressures of giving their parents grandchildren. As a result, they become unhappy adults who are just going through the motions of adulthood. Many have gone into unnecessary debt trying to maintain their parent-induced life-style. Moreover the constant pressure inflicted by their parents to send money on a regular basis can at times be very overwhelming if not downright stressful, especially if they are forced to make personal sacrifices to accommodate the request.
Personally I no longer believe it is the children's responsibility to take care of their parents. Whatever shortcomings their parents may be experiencing is a direct result of their poor planning - having children with the expectation that their children will grow up to take care of them. Everyone is given the same gift - this thing called "life". Why then is there an expectation that adults are to care for themselves, their children, and their parents? How selfish.
Take a look at nature. We can learn a lot from animals. When's the last time you saw a grown bird feeding another grown bird? Or for that matter any other grown animal caring for another? You may see them grieving for a fallen companion but they only feed and care for their young. Within days, if not hours, birds fly, fishes swim, and dogs walk. They all eventually fend for themselves and you never see the cycle reverse itself. In fact when a baby bird reaches the stage where they are able to fly the mother bird pushes it out the nest. It will either fly or die. The mother does not interfere in the process nor does she continue to care for it once she pushes its young out the nest. Why then do humans, who by the way is considered to be the smartest of the species, have a cycle that goes backwards? The true order of things is parents have children, they provide, nurture, and care for them. There children in turn have children which they provide, nurture, and care for and so on and so forth. Now don't get me wrong, it's absolutely acceptable if an adult child wants to do something for their parents for whatever reason including illness, but it should be out of gratitude not obligation.
The cycle I've observed ever since I was a child growing up on the island is one where children grow up to take care of their parents financially which leaves them trying to maintain two households and most times than not it is their household which comes up short because the potential stigma/shame imposed on them by others for not providing for their parents is more than they are willing to endure.
My children did not ask to be here. I chose to have them but I'll be damned if I expect them to turn around and take care of me. My adult children will tell you that I don't ask them for a penny, a nickle or a 50 cents even though I lost my job back in 2011. My children's resources is for them to support themselves and their children, not me. It is not their responsibility to take care of me financially. If they choose to give me anything it's of their own free will and not because they feel obligated.
If parents would do a better job of managing their own finances and plan better, it would free up their children to be better able to provide for themselves and their children thus breaking the cycle of poverty.
Proverbs 13:22: says "A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children," So many of us don't know who our grandparents are let alone our great-grandparent. That's because they did not leave us anything except the legacy of looking forward to working to take care of our parents. Who wants to remember that? It is my goal to leave an inheritance for my grandchildren. My hope is my great-grandchildren will say one day, "first there was my Nana, then there was my mommy/daddy and I was born rich."
Break the cycle of poverty by raising your children to be self-sufficient and not to grow up to take care of you. This will allow them to be financially stable to take care of themselves and their family should they chose to have one. I'm just saying - I got issues, what about you?)i(
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