Why is it that some
people always seem to have an opinion on the amount of children someone has or feel they have the right to dictate to other
people how many children they should have? I was watching a court case on TV where the judge asked the defendant how many children she had. When the defendant
offered that she had four children the audience made gasping sounds like she
had just confessed to committing a crime.
The judge then wanted to know how old she was to which the defendant responded
“I’m 29.” The judge then said, “You’re done right? The factory is closed,
right? I’m just saying, you have no business having four children at your age.”
I was a little taken aback but curious as to where the judge was going with her
line of questioning. Frankly I did not see how it related to the case, which by
the way involved the plaintiff suing the defendant for damages to her car that
she alleges the defendant's six-year old son scratched. Turns out the 6-year old was playing outside
unsupervised, which I could see why the judge would take issues with that. By the
end of the case the judge determined that the plaintiff did not have a case
because she had no physical evidence or a witness to support her case and the
6-year old denied doing the damage.
However before dismissing the case the judge gave the defendant a solid
tongue scolding about her parenting style, her having four children, and
strongly warned her about having anymore.
That’s not the only
incident where I have observed a judge taking it upon themselves to offer/dish
out family planning advice. This seems to be a trend with the more popular
judge shows these days. But it also seems to be fast growing among main stream
America. When I tell people I have six
grandchildren they look at me with a disbelieving expression. Mostly because I
don’t look like the typical “grandma”,
but more disbelieving when I say they are all through my daughter. Without even
knowing anything about her they form an opinion about her and ask, “Are they all for the same person?” or “Is she done?” Sometimes I just want to ask
them “Why do you care?” But instead I
politely answer “Yes, they all have the
same dad.” and “I don’t know, maybe.”
Truth is it’s her decision whether or not she wants more children. I can offer
her my personal opinion on the subject, but it is just that, my opinion. 
There are lots of
reasons why women end up with more than one or two children. Some by accident
and some accidentally on purpose. Whatever the reason, there is no scientific
data that supports that it is okay to dictate how many children a woman should have. Heck my grandmother had 11 children and in a time when there was no
social welfare. All of them turned out pretty good. Among them she had a couple
of doctors and a few very successful business entrepreneurs, who then in turn
produced some successful off-springs. Not to go biblical on you, but in Genesis
1:28 it states, “And God blessed them, and God said unto them,
Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have
dominion…” Besides, think about
it, there are many families/heritages that became
extinct because there was no one to carry on the family’s name/no
heirs. 
While I don’t support the
notion that women should have “a lot”
of children just because they can, especially if they cannot support or take
care of them, I do recall that this is a free country and while not advisable, people
are free to have as many children as they so desire. I would hope that they are
responsible enough to take into consideration the consequences of having a
large family and the sacrifices and impact on each child as it relates to their
individual needs. The more children someone has the more strain they place on their
resources. It’s just that simple. As a result, various siblings in the family
may suffer from the “middle child
syndrome”, meaning they may feel left out or neglected as they compete for
their parents’ attention. However, it is also very possible for them to all grow up
in a loving nurturing home where their physical and emotional needs are met and
they become productive members of society.
So if women have the physical and mental support they need to care for
their children, then so be it. However that may not always be the case.
There
are times when children suffer emotional and physical abuse as a result of the
stress involved in being in a large family but so do an only child. No one can
predict when and how this will happen. I will always advocate for children, but
this is not China – there is no law against having more than one child. What do you care how many children someone
decides to have anyway? It’s their business and you should respect that. I’m
just saying – I got issues. What about you?)i(© Copyrights All Right Reserved
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