I’m Eternally Grateful… Thank you

In February this year I came dangerously close to losing my home. It seemed despite my best planning I had fallen behind on my mortgage payments by five months. Of course there was the matter of me losing my job three years prior, coupled with my being hit by a tow truck in 2012 which rendered it impossible for me to seek and/or gain employment. With no income and my savings depleted, things quickly went south. I had literally run out of money. Looking at my situation I had no options opened to me, or so I thought. With no idea as to how I would be able to work this out, short of winning the lottery, I turned to my faith as I usually did, but this time I was desperate. Nothing brings you to your knees quicker than the thought of being homeless. Where would I go? I could not move in with my daughter. Her resources were already stretched beyond belief and space was limited on account of her seven children. Moving back to the island was also not an option either as I sold that house a few years ago to help sustain my living expenses. Honestly, it looked grim. 

While I had told myself that I had given my situation over to God and not to worry, there were still days that the thought of losing my home was so overwhelming I could not get out the bed, but God. He uses who He will to propel you into action. I remember it like it was just yesterday. It was Thursday February 20^th. I was in bed fast asleep when something unexpectedly happened – my cell phone rang. Yeah, I don’t get a lot of calls especially at 7:30 in the morning. I must have forgotten to set my DND (do not disturb) the night before. By the time I reached over to answer it, the person was transferred to voicemail. “Oh well” I thought. “Guess they can just leave a message.” I quickly abandoned the act of reaching for the phone and went back to sleep.  When I checked my message later that morning I discovered the identity of my early morning caller. It was Ms. Hillary. She said she was just checking on me. Said she woke up with me in her spirits and wanted to know if I was ok. I’m familiar with that feeling as it’s happened to me several times where God places someone in my spirit. To truly understand the magnitude of this call you first need to know that while Ms. Hillary is a friend whom I met through a mutual friend, we are not close. Meaning we aren’t bosom buddies. We don’t chit chat on the phone on a regular and we are definitely not involved in each other’s lives. Our interactions are limited to the occasional run it at a friend’s function or party. She is an awesome woman of God with whom I share the love for God and we have good conversation when they occurred, but not to the point where she would know I was in distress.  The fact that she was calling me to check on me was curious in and of itself but I know now that it was God’s intervention. 

Upon returning the call I shared with her some of my hardships with finding employment and my health challenges, but stopped short of telling her about my mortgage situation. After all, I am a private person. She did not need to know that part.  The thing about God is, he already knows what you need before you needed it. He does not need to reveal to people in His service the intricate details of your situation to get them to move on His behalf. All they need to know is that God dropped you in their spirit and they just need to be obedient to make contact and fill the void as needed. Side bar: Too many times people feel that they have to share all the details about their situation when they are requesting prayer. Newsflash, God already knows the details. Nobody else needs to know. All they need to do is lift your name up in prayer and ask God to meet you at your need, whatever it is. Most times people just want to know the details of your situation to satisfy their own curiosity, but it is not required because God already knows what you need and that is all that counts. He just needs a few faithful people to join their faith with yours to move Him to do for you what you cannot do for yourself. Period!  

Ok, back to our regularly scheduled program – lol. She went on to say that she had no idea I was going through as I am always cheerful and looked like all was well when she saw me.  So at the end of the call she proceeded to pray for me. She then offered to send me a few dollars through Venmo to help. I was reluctant to accept but did so anyway. True to her word within minutes of downloading the app on my phone I got a notification that she had sent me some money. It was not a lot but it was enough to bring tears to my eyes. It was touching to me because I’m usually the one on the giving end of generosity. What a feeling to be on the receiving end of unsolicited kindness. By the end of the day a thank you card was in the mail to her. As I sat on the edge of my bed reliving what had transpired I remembered a heart to heart conversation I had with God the night before. I told Him I knew He had a plan and to please reveal it to me. Then I was hit with a very unorthodox thought – why not ask my friends and family for help? Seemed simple enough right? Not so. The thing you need to understand about me is that, and my friends and family members will attest to this, I am incredibly self-sufficient. Well as self sufficient as anyone can be who trust in God for their strength and ability to gain wealth. People who know me will tell you that if I ever ask for help, it is because I cannot do it for myself and have run out of options and asking for money, oh that almost never happens. Up until then, the times I have asked for help was few and far in between if not less. Needless to say I struggled with that idea for the rest of the day, but when I thought of the prospect of losing my home of 17 years because I let my pride prevent me from asking for help, I gave in to the idea. That and the realization that Ms. Hillary's call was orchestrated by God.

I spent the rest of the day and night working out the details of the “ask.” The approach was very important. Do I ask for a loan or do I just ask them to sow a seed into my life? The amount I needed was a big factor in the “ask” decision as it was nothing to sneeze at. I already knew I would not be able to pay back that amount anytime soon and the last thing I wanted to do was owe folks. Shoot, I don’t even like it when people owed me money. It’s the fasted surest way to kill a friendship.  My mom used to say she don’t lend what she can’t afford to lose. Meaning, she already made up her mind that the amount she gave would not affect her financial ability to take care of her needs if she does not get the money back. Knowing I had no way of knowing for sure when I would have some sort of steady income, it was an easy decision to make. I would just share the amount I needed and ask people to give what they can towards it. This way there is no set amount and people won’t feel locked in to an amount. I wanted it to be feasible for people to understand that any amount was acceptable.  So the next morning I had a clear idea of what I was going to say. I composed the following and sent to to my friends and family via text or email. Then I waited.

What happened next is still unbelievable to me. The responses I got were awesome. Within minutes my cell phone was inundated with text messages and phone calls. People were genuinely concerned about my situation. One friend took issue with me to the point he asked why I waited for it to get so bad. He reminded me that he was my friend for more than 25 years and I should feel comfortable by now asking him for help. He pointed out that we had spoken often and I never let on I was in need. He told me it was time for me to stop trying to do it alone. I received $150 from him within minutes of that conversation ending, but not before he offered me a loan. He said that the $150 was all he had to give but if I wanted a loan that could be arranged. Of course I shared my hesitation to accept his offer citing my uncertainty on when I would be able to repay the debt and gracefully declined.

Overall, the responses I got were mixed. There were those who wanted more information about my situation before committing to sending me anything. I happily shared. Then there were those who responded simply that they could not help and yet others who did not respond at all.  Truth is the “no’s” and "non-responses" taunted me for a bit but as time went by I resolved those feelings, especially after I spoke to one friend whom I thought for sure would have come to my rescue but she never even acknowledge my request. Being the “no nonsense” "straight shooter" kind of woman that I am, I called her up to see if she had received my email. She told me yes, she did get the email but she thought it was a hoax. She further shared with me that there were just too many stories going around about people’s email accounts that were hacked and then people in their contact receiving messages from the hackers posing as their friend and requesting money. She also said the request was made even more unbelievable because it was from me. I was reminded that during our more than 30 years of friendship; I had only asked her for a loan once and that was over 20 years ago. To her, it just did not seem plausible that I would chose to send an email to ask for money after all these years.   That bit of information was very enlightening to me. It brought to light email the first time I decided to do so. ever asked her for money. It just did not seem plausible th a scenario that up until that point I had not considered. So I quickly made peace in my mind with those I had placed on my “questionable” list. This information prompted me to make a few calls to some of the non-responders, however I still received a “no” to my request. No worries.  I was not discouraged.

In the end, I got exactly what I needed to save my home. Some people sent me $10, $20, or $50 while others sent me hundreds. One person sent me $1,631.76. I thought it was a very odd amount. So when I called to thank them for their gift, (gratitude card also followed to them and the other 16 of my benefactors) I asked why that amount. They said they had just collected on a debt and just passed it on to me. The point I’m trying to share here is that it’s not so much about how much each person gave me, but more about the fact that they gave something. The lessons I took away from this situation were many including that I needed to work on my "pride" fault. But the single most important lesson I got was this. When people are in need, they won’t turn down any help, no matter how small. Those who chose not to help may very well have their reasons for not doing so and that’s ok. Just as important are those who chose not to respond at all. Whatever their reasons are for not responding I have released them. Fact is, God used who He needed to use to bring about the results I needed. I sent out over 30 requests, only 17 people rose to the call. I just realized that the number of people who sent me money is the same as the number of years I’ve lived in my home and the date of my birth – 17, which when simplified is the number 8 – new beginnings. How fitting is that – wow.

Bottom-line is I am forever grateful to those who gave but more so to those who did not. Their actions showed me that they were just as much a factor in this equation as those who did give. Maybe it was not for them to give to me at that time, or maybe they were disobedient and missed the opportunity for God to bless them for their obedience.  I guess I will never really know for sure, but what I do know is that there are 17 people out there who are forever in my prayers and for which they will reap the benefits of their obedience for sowing into my life. IJS – I got Issues, what about you?)i(

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