Let it Go

At times it seems like despite your best efforts bad things still happen to you and sometimes it's not even your fault. As humans we tend to look for someone to blame for our negative experiences and most times than not we blame someone close to us, be it a parent, a sibling, a friend, or a significant other. Other times we blame ourselves. Truth is, it is inevitable that bad things will occur at no fault of your own or anyone else's for that matter. The trick is not to become so boggled down by those negative experiences to the point that it keeps you from enjoying life or allowing it to cause a rift between you and the people in your life.  No one is perfect, although I like to think I come pretty close, and as long as you have life you will be faced with challenges.  Most of what happens to us is out of our control, i.e., job lost due to company downsizing, falling behind on some payments, getting molested as a child, getting raped as an adult, getting shot while waiting in line at the bank, recording deal falling through because they went with another artist, significant other cheated, significant other took you for everything you worked so hard to accumulate including the kitchen sink, got rear-ended by someone while driving, someone near and dear to you died unexpectedly, etc. The list is endless, however while you may not have chosen the circumstances you have experienced and will experience, you do get to choose how those challenges/circumstances will impact your life.

You can choose to be broken hearted and hold negative thoughts to the point it cripples your very existence, i.e., your health, your relationships, etc.; or you can choose to let it go and embrace life and all it has to offer and trust that it will all work out for the best eventually. Regardless of what has happened to you in the past you only have today, because tomorrow is not promised. I once read some place that there is no such thing as tomorrow because when it comes it's actually today. The only way you can visit tomorrow, or yesterday for that matter, is in your mind. Your mind is the bridge which keeps you trapped in your past or propels you into your future without actually being there. It is your mind that keeps you from enjoying today. 

Think about it for a minute. What thoughts are going through your mind that keeps you up at nights? It may be thoughts of your inability to pay a bill that is not yet due; thoughts of a spouse who may have cheated in the past and the possibility that they may do it again in the future; thoughts of how you can secure a nicer car or a bigger house base on your earning potential, thoughts of something that happened in the past or something that can possibly happen in the future. We are held hostage by our thoughts. I challenge you to shake up the monotony in your life by forgetting about the past and focusing on today. Live for today and don't waste time dwelling on yesterday or tomorrow because you can't do anything about either of them but you have total control over today. Nothing else matters except today, i.e., what you will eat today, what you will wear today, who you love today, who loves you today, etc. Do yourself a favor and let the past go.

Right now where you are, take a moment to reflect on your state of mind right now. What ill feelings are you holding on to? What negative experience has sucked the joy out of your life to the point you lost your zeal for life? What’s keeping you from embracing the people in your life completely? What negative experiences are you attributing as someone else's fault or even your own? 

Now take a deep breath – hold it – one, two, three, exhale slowly and with it let go of all the negative energy that you have been bottling up for so long. Make a conscious effort to release those negative thoughts and feelings. Release yourself and whoever else you might be blaming for those negative experiences as well. 

Give yourself permission to forgive yourself and whoever else you have been blaming for those negative experiences. Let go of those negative thoughts and think happy thoughts. Your thoughts shape your life and draws whatever you are thinking to you. If you want love and prosperity, then think those thoughts and leave the negative thoughts out the equation. I'm just saying - I got issues. What about you?)i( #IGotIssues #LetItGo #ForgiveOthers #ForgiveYourself

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Winter 2014 – The Effect on Atlanta

Just about everyone is talking about the treacherous conditions in Metro Atlanta days after we experienced only about 1-3 inches of snow which crippled road ways and impeded travel both in the air and on the ground. Despite news reports and the National Weather Service (in Peachtree City) issuing warning that the state would be hit with snow on Tuesday, state and local officials failed to take heed to those warnings and took no precautions to prevent chaos from developing. It was business as usual across the state – schools opened and workers reported to work – despite the detailed account of the weather models that showed snow entering into the region overnight and making its presence known by 10 am Tuesday morning in most counties. As a result of that neglect, a chain effect was put in motion which would last days after the first snowflake fell in the Metro area and would eventually force the Governor to declare a state of emergency for the state. By the time residents realized that the soft flurries, which at first melted without a trace, was now blanketing their cars and appeared to be sticking, it was too late to avoid being caught in the gridlock that was inevitable as everyone seemed to hit the road literally at the same time trying to get to their respective homes. 

Businesses released their workers and school officials finally took a hint and released their students, but we would learn that was not soon enough. Then everyone else all seemed to follow suit.  As traffic moved at a snail’s crawl, the heat from the cars melted the snow on the road which froze over almost immediately creating a slick, icy condition which made it difficult to navigate/drive on after a while. With traffic moving a fraction at a time, some motorists eventually ran out of gas and was forced to abandon their vehicles right there in the middle of the road. Others would abandon their vehicles simply because they could no longer gain tractions on the road to move them, and yet others would pull over to the side of the road and would end up abandoning their vehicles for the night due to dropping temperatures and the realization that they would not be making it home no time soon. Overall, literally thousands of motorists were forced to abandon their vehicles due to inability to navigate on slick icy roads; they ran out of gas; or experienced gridlock which proved to be futile. Trips that normally would take 15 to 45 minutes ended up taking anywhere from 4 to 12 hours, and that was for those who were able or lucky enough to make it to their final destinations in their cars. For those who were not so lucky, it would be more like 24 to 48 hours before they could get their vehicles safely back in their driveway. News media reported over 900 car accidents across Metro Atlanta as drivers lost control of their vehicles on the slippery roads. Some vehicles ended up in ditches and still others just slammed into guard rails.

There were even a couple car fires, but so far there has not been any report of any fatality although there was one report of a woman giving birth on I-285. There were also reports of stranded motorists taking shelter in grocery stores and hotel lobbies. While most stranded motorist have made attempts to reclaim their vehicles, there are those who are still waiting for road conditions to improve before venturing out to secure their vehicles. Unfortunately they may have to venture out sooner than they planned to get their vehicles if in fact they left them near a major highway, as the state has issued a deadline of 9 pm tonight for them to retrieve their vehicles or else it will be towed at the owner’s expense.   For those who left their vehicles in the road on a major highway, their vehicle has already been towed but the good news is the state will pay the cost of the tow. However for those who left their vehicle on a side street, while they may have a little more time to retrieve their vehicle,  they can expect to pay anywhere from $130 – 175 if their vehicle get towed before they are able to retrieve it. Many drivers have voiced their displeasure about having to pay for the tow citing the conditions of the road as a factor and that it was not their fault that they were unable to drive home. 
Again, there is some small comfort for those who were towed off the major highways because the state will cover the bill for their tow but for those whose cars were on side streets, or on the side of major highways, not so.

For me the most thrilling effect of state and local official’s neglect to take preventative actions in light of the impending snow  was that thousands of students had to spend the night sleeping on their gymnasium’s floor throughout the metro area because buses were not able to make it to schools to transport the children to their respective neighborhoods. Some bus drivers were instructed to return back to the school with students in tow because roads were deemed to be too treacherous. 

But for some that instruction came too late as there have been lots of stories of school buses getting stuck on road ways and even a few instances where the bus slid into oncoming traffic. Luckily no one was hurt.  I can only imagine the frustrations parents experienced as they realized their child would not be coming home that night.

As a resident of Georgia for 18 years I can count the amount of times we have experienced snow and the truth is this whole mess could have all been avoided. Let’s keep it real, Georgia is not equipped to handle any amount of snow fall no matter how light. I think it was back in 2008 when we were expected to get snow, the whole state shut down in anticipation of the event and nothing happened. As embarrassing as that was for the government I felt it was a good move. It’s better to be prepared and not need to be than not be prepared and needing to be, if that makes sense to you. In 2009, a year later, we got hit with snow and ice, however once again the state was not prepared to handle it. 

Then in 2011 the state was again hit with the most snow we had seen in decades and it crippled the whole state for over a week. We were literally the laughing stock of the nation as national news media made a mockery of our inability to maintain our road ways during a “little snow storm”. Much like this time, local officials were quick to provide one excuse after another as to why we were not capable of clearing the roads in a timely manner. From “we don’t get snow that often so it is not cost effective to invest in the equipment needed to clear the roads” to “we had no idea it would be this bad”. Considering our past history, why then would state officials not take the position of an “ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure”? Why not close schools and give state workers the day off just in case? Then to add insult to injury both the Governor and the Mayor opted to play the blame game. During a press conference on Wednesday Gov. Nathan Deal indicated that the weather was “unpredictable” and that he did not know we would get snow. Are you kidding me? It was only on every local news station the night before. Even to me, an untrained person in the science of weather, I could tell by looking at the computer generated model that it was inevitable that we would get some amount of snow. It was not a question of if but rather when. If history had taught us anything it should have been to expect the unexpected. He also went on to say while his office monitors the state agencies and schools, they do not dictate what they should do. Wow – now if that is not passing the buck I don’t know what is. 

So after all that, today the Gov. Deal is singing a different tune. It’s almost like he suddenly remembers he is up for re-election this year. Now he is saying that he was not adequately informed in a timely manner that the National Weather Service had upgraded the watch for the state to an advisory at 3am Tuesday morning. Ah, does he have a TV in his home? While he may have been asleep when the advisory was issued, if he bothered to turn on his TV when he woke up he would have seen the report for himself. Or forget that, if he even looked out his window he would have seen the snow and thus be prepared to issue a state of emergency if for no other reason but for the simple fact that this is Georgia and we don’t do well with snow, period! Anyway, he then went on to apologized to the parents of the students who had to spend the night in their schools as well as the motorists who were stranded on the state’s highways and roads. "I accept responsibility for the fact that we did not make preparation early enough to avoid these consequences," Deal said. "... I'm not looking for a scapegoat. I'm the governor, the buck stops with me." If you ask me, that apology is a day late and a penny short. He should have offered that apology on Tuesday evening instead of trying to find someone to blame for why an effective plan of action was not followed, i.e., closing the schools, spreading salt and sand mixture on major highways early in the morning in anticipation of the snow, etc. Basically, this all boils down to how the state is being perceived by the rest of the nation and Georgia’s bid for the super bowl to be held in Atlanta in 2019 and not so much about the true issue which is the safety of Georgia's  residents. I’m just saying – I got issues. What about you?)i( #IGotIssues

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2013 - This N That - Getting Caught Up

Happy New Year everybody! I know – it’s been a minute since I last sat down and chat with you about issues in my world. What to tell you, I’ve been going through some stuff and lost my desire/motivation to put my fingers to the keys. But I would be remise if I did not take a moment to weigh in on two major issues from last year that has no doubt affect some, if not all of us, in some way.

Okay, so let’s start with the federal government shutdown which lasted for 16 days (October 1 – 17, 2013). While I learned that government shutdowns are not uncommon, this was technically one of the longest period of time a shutdown has lasted. The first major one I am aware of lasted from November 14 to 19, 1995, and then from December 16, 1995, to January 6, 1996, which was during the Clinton Administration. The shutdowns of 1995 and 1995–96 were the result of conflicts between Democratic President Bill Clinton and the Republican Congress over funding for Medicare, education, the environment, and public health in the 1996 federal budget. Apparently the government shut down after President Clinton vetoed the spending bill the Republican Party-controlled Congress sent him. Much like this time, the federal government put federal workers on furlough and suspended non-essential services from November 14 through November 19, 1995 and from December 16, 1995 to January 6, 1996, for a total of 27 days. The major players were President Clinton and Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives at the time, Newt Gingrich. Similar to that shutdown, this shutdown, from October 1 through 16, 2013 came about after Congress failed to enact legislation appropriating funds for fiscal year 2014, or a continuing resolution for the interim authorization of appropriations for fiscal year 2014. Regular government operations resumed October 17^th after an interim appropriations bill was signed into law.

Just a little history/sidebar for those of you who may have no idea what a government shutdown is exactly or why it happens. According to Wikipedia, “In U.S. politics, a government shutdown is the name for the process the Executive Branch must enter into, when the Congress creates a "funding gap" by choosing not to or failing to pass legislation funding government operations and agencies. If interim or full-year appropriations are not enacted into law, the United States Constitution and the Antideficiency Act require the federal government to begin a "shutdown" of the affected activities. If the funding gap lasts long enough that shutdown plans must be enacted, the law requires the furlough of non-emergency personnel and curtailment of agency activities and services. Programs that are funded by laws other than annual appropriations acts (like Social Security) also may be affected by a funding gap, if program execution relies on activities that receive annually appropriated funding.”

Basically the real issue that caused the shutdown last year was the Republicans' desire to delay or defund the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (also known as Obamacare), which was signed into law back in 2010. What I found interesting is just how far the Republicans were willing to go to stop something that “the people” had already voted on or rather to undermine President Obama’s leadership. Not only that, they used every opportunity to blame the shutdown on President Obama even though they were the ones who were refusing to approve the fiscal budget if the Healthcare Act was included.  Oh and the media did not help any with their daily bias reporting of the situation and their persistent inferences that President Obama was to blame for the shutdown. One reporter even went so far as to call for President Obama to sit down and negotiate with the Republicans to reach a compromise. He even cited that at least when the shutdown happened during the Clinton Administration, that President Clinton was “talking” to the Republicans, but President Obama was not willing to do so. Are you kidding me? What was there to compromise/negotiate/talk about? The people had already spoken and the bill was already passed. I love the fact that President Obama was unwavering in his decision and stood his ground. I don’t know about you, but I sleep a whole lot better knowing he is in charge. My other issue was with the media reporting that federal employees who were furloughed or who did not report to work during the shutdown would not get paid. Please – everybody knew they would get paid. They always got retroactive pay whenever the government shut down in the past. What made them think this time would be any different? As far as I am concerned it was all just sensationalism and ratings for the media to have something to say. This was one time it would have been best if they had adopted that old saying, “if you ain’t got anything good to say then don’t say anything.” As you know, in the end, a bill to end the shutdown and fund federal agencies through January 15, 2014, passed the Senate and the House and was signed into law on October 17, 2013. And as I suspected all along, federal employees got a 16-day paid holiday for that time.

Finally I have to say something about the whole “Mylie Cyrus” saga. First off please note that I in no way condone or approve of her performance with Robin Thicke on the VMA last August, but let’s face it, it was all staged. You know it was all a part of the producer/network’s attempts to increase rating. It was/is equivalent to Janet Jackson’s supposed “wardrobe malfunction” back in February 2004 when she performed during halftime with Justin Timberlake at Super Bowl XXXVIII, which was broadcast live from Houston, Texas. And while the FCC fined CBS a whopping $550,000, it was later voided on appeal in 2011.

That little escapade spent months in the media forefront and generated much of the same frenzy as Mylie’s performance. That “nipplegate” as the incident was sometimes referred to, “was ridiculed both abroad and within the United States [much like the Mylie incident], with some American commentators seeing the incident as a sign of decreasing morality in the national culture.” Say what you like about Mylie, but you have to admit that after that performance she became the most talked about celebrity of the year. Whether you hated or loved her performance, which was a far cry from the simple, coy girl on Hannah Montana, the fact still remains that she gained world fame/recognition after her appearance on the VMA which came shortly on the heels of her new album release and world tour.  

Bottom-line is you really can’t blame Mylie, or any other artists for that matter, for allowing the networks/producers to use them however they see fit to increase ratings. In their desire to be popular most artists no longer think for themselves and are willing to be portrayed any which way for the all mighty dollar or fame, which ever means the most to them. So don’t be shocked or outraged when you see an artist doing something outlandish. Just chop it up to yet another publicity stunt designed to increase ratings and promote/launch that artist’s career. Keep in mind that networks/producers will go to any length to increase ratings. That includes baring a breast, fondling one’s self, or twerking a butt in public.   I’m just saying – I got issues. What about you?)i(

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A Tribute to Iotha L. Thomas - Celebrating You

By all accounts, and by that I mean my Internet search, nothing significant happened on November 20^th 1945, except for the twenty-four high-ranking Nazis who went on trial in Nuremberg, Germany, for the horrific crimes they committed during World War II. But for me that day was much more significant as it was a benchmark day which marked the beginning to my direct existence. You see on that faithful Tuesday 68 years ago a young woman gave birth to a bouncing baby girl – my mom – Ineta Lafeta Thomas also known as “Iotha” – on a small island in the West Indies called Antigua.

Iotha was the fourth of six children born to Virginia Heskey and Charles Thomas. From what I can tell based on stories I have heard she came from very humble beginnings and although she did not have much of a childhood because the times forced her to grow up fast, she did not let any of her experiences go to waste but rather chose to embrace everything that happened to her in order to help shape her into the woman she became.  I’m not sure if that was on purpose or accidentally on purpose but either way, I would learn to appreciate her wisdom as she imparted it to those who came across her path. As such she was independent and modeled what she preached. Not only does she talk the talk, but she walks the walk as well.

While her mom was lucky enough to live out her days, her dad died when she was only 13 years old which may have had a lasting effect on her but it is hard to say for sure as she is a very private person and does not speak much of her early years. In fact she may just take me to task for sharing this. However, I do recall that on those rare occasions that she mentioned her dad it was with fondness. I think it had something to do with her having to play referee. That’s all I’m going to say on that – lol. Despite her limited formative education she knew enough at an early age to desire a better way of life for herself. I’m not sure what brought her to the Virgin Islands per se, but on or about June 10, 1962 she found herself on the shores of St. Croix, one of three islands which make up the US Virgin Islands. She was not even 18 yet but was resilient and motivated enough to leave her native island and travel to unchartered waters to make the best of whatever came her way. It was a difficult time for immigrants back in those days let alone a single teenage girl. There was always the threat of deportation for those who did not have legal standings (green paper/green card) to be on the island. For many, their days were spent looking over their shoulders and nights spent sleeping with one eye open trying to evade capture and deportation. Unfortunately Iotha was not immune to that prospect either as she too found herself evading immigration officers on a regular basis until she was able to secure legal representation in the form of “bonding” which was much like a work visa.

The next 51 years or so would bring about many changes in her life and while she never marry, she has had a full life: she has two children who gave her several grandchildren, she went back to school and obtained her high school diploma, put herself through college, went to driving school and got her driver’s license, bought her first car, secured property and built her home where she still resides to this day, and yes, when time permits she travels to other far away destinations. Her early work history included working at Pelican Cove, being a domestic engineer in private homes, and at times a live-in nanny or care taker for some prominent families on the island, i,e., the Dusseau’s, Mimme, the Brim’s, the Hilty’s, the Calderons, the Bressi’s, etc. Oh and less I forget, she has also been known to play nurse’s aide to the sick and the dying. She even taught herself how to sew free-hand and did alterations for Violette’s Boutique for a time. She would later work at Pink Fancy where I got my very first real pet - a cat we called Jimmy.

When I was growing up she made most of my clothes by hand and while I didn't know it or realized it at the time, I was wearing “designer one of a kind” dresses. I know, a lot escaped me when I was growing up like the fact that I grew up in a condominium near the beach with a panoramic view of the ocean (Ralph De Chabert). But I digress. As I was saying, Iotha was not, is not afraid of hard work and built her reputation on hard work, honesty, and integrity. She would often say there was no shame in cleaning toilets and that it was an honest day’s work. As a way of instilling in me the value of gaining people’s trust, especially when they let you in their homes, she would frequently take me to work with her. Working along side my mom was a teachable moment. It was during those times that she would share little nuggets of discipline and self control with me. She shared that even though the lady of the house may say "help yourself to what's in the fridge", that was not the time to go crazy. In fact, except for a cup of water mom was very adamant about not touching anything in the fridge even though it was offered. 

I was seven years old when my mom found salvation and it would become her saving grace over the years. It was her faith that gave her strength when things got tough and it was what she turned to when she had no one else to turn to. She subscribed to Life Study Fellowship and would place a dime in an envelope every morning as she knelt to pray. If I was ever tempted to take the dimes out mom made sure to let me know the wrath of God or "God curse" would follow me if I stole the Lord's money. So much for buying candy on the way to school - lol.  She would often sing out loud as she did her chores. In fact there are times I catch myself humming some of those same old hymns while I do my chores. She was not the typical mom and I must admit that it took me getting older to fully appreciate the woman she is and all the “life lessons” she tried to teach me along the way when I was growing up. Looking back I can see now how everything my mom did was strategic and meant to teach me discipline and self-control. Two necessary traits that I gladly embraced and for which I give credit for my life being as stable as it is today. I see so much of my mom in a lot of what I do and it’s interesting to say the least. For instance, before she bought her first car we literally walked everywhere she needed to go – from East End to Questa Verde, to Sugar Beach, not having a car did not stand in her way of getting there. She did not use not having a car as an excuse to miss work. In fact she rarely missed work. 

Regardless of what was going on in her life mom always went to work. I can’t recall a time when mom did not work. Well there were a couple of days that she took to her bed when I was twelve or thirteen but that was understandable. She had just learned that a dear friend of hers had died in a car accident in Hawaii that Christmas. Other than that she has been a real trouper.

Despite the challenges she faced in life over the years she is never too busy to help others along the way. She is always adopting strangers and looking out for those who are less fortunate than she is. I remember there was an old man that used to live in a little shack under a mango tree next to the Pennsylvania bank down town. That was before they changed the name to the Scotia Bank. Anyway, Ma used to go take care of “little man” as she called him. She would clean out his little shack, made sure he ate and would sit and talk with him. I remember when he died, Ma was very shaken up. It was the second of only two funerals I had attended in my young life. The first was for my Uncle Winston. Then there was Owen, this young guy that used to come by the apartment. I was scared of him, not sure why. Anyway, mom would feed him and share the word of God with him. Sadly Owen was killed by a car while riding his bike on the highway. But he would not be the last person she would reach out to. Over the years she has ministered to so many (Lettie, Faith, Kent, etc.) and continues to help those who are in need.

Iotha is a woman of strong faith and integrity who continues to live her life as she sees fit with no apologies or regrets. She has lots of wisdom and is not afraid to share it with anyone who will listen. She is able to fit in no matter where she may go – from the company of dignitaries (governors, senators, doctors or lawyers) to the common bum on the street, she has won the respect of everyone she meets. She conducts herself with humility and while she won’t bite her tongue she is able to convey her point with respect and dignity without reverting to degrading tactics.  So on this 68^th year of her birth I celebrate my mom and all her accomplishments, big and small. And while we don’t always see eye to eye and often have disagreements I want her to know that I am eternally grateful for the life lessons she has thought me whether intentionally or unintentionally.

For leaving work to come to the hospital when I had a seizure in the first grade – thank you. For taking me to Puerto Rico when I was 10 for medical evaluation – thank you. For taking me to the hospital in the fore day morning when we had no car and had to walk back home to St. John from Charles Harwood – thank you. For making my one of a kind designer prom and class night dresses – thank you. For allowing me to keep Jimmy (pet cat) even though he liked to pee in your shoes – thank you. For bringing me Cheetos when I was pregnant with Gloria – thank you (I’m still addicted to Cheetos – lol). 

For preparing oats for breakfast when I was growing up – thank you. For making sure my cocoa was not too hot – thank you. For fishing the needle out my cocoa before I swallowed it – thank you. For inspiring me not to have more children until I could take care of them – thank you. For telling me not to be a dish cloth/hand towel for men – thank you. For not using profanity in my presence – thank you. For teaching me how to be domesticated – thank you. For allowing me to struggle and find myself thus build my character – thank you. For showing me how to be self-sufficient and not depend on others for my happiness – thank you. For dragging me to church – thank you. For teaching me how to pray – thank you. For instilling in me the desire not to lie – thank you. For teaching me the importance of integrity – thank you. 

For instilling value and morals in me – thank you. For helping me develop good work ethics – thank you. For helping me get my first home – thank you. For modeling discipline and self-control for me to follow – thank you.  For being the woman that birth me – thank you. For being a “no nonsense” kind of woman – thank you. May God grant you many more years on this side of the earth and may they be the best years ever. Happy birthday Ma! You are the best mother for me.

Fun facts

So, how much did things cost back in 1945? Well for starters, the average cost of a new house was just $4.600.00. Average wages per year was $2,400.00. The cost of a gallon of gas was 15 cents. Average cost for house rent was $60.00 per month.  Average cost of a new car was $1,020.00. By far everything back then was so much more affordable. Wonder if we will ever see those averages again. Somehow I don't think so. I’m just saying – I got issues. What about you?)i(

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