The Key to Happiness - Do You Have It

In recent days, especially with the very unexpected passing of both Prince (Prince Rogers Nelson) and Chyna (Joan Marie Laurer) I was forced to revisit my views on life, more specifically happiness and I am convinced that I am on the right track with my thought process that happiness is a state of mind. I say that because it seems like both Prince and Chyna lived a privilege life style, for the most part, but like so many celebrities who “made it”, money and companionship does not seem to be enough to promote happiness in their lives. From what I gathered from news and media reports, at some point in their careers they both turned to prescription/recreational drug use to deal with the stressors that apparently accompany stardom and or to mask some aliment which plagued them whether physical or psychological. I don’t believe all celebrities indulge in that behavior but it seems like more do so than not.

This re-confirms my belief that happiness is a state of mind. When you are poor you tend to think your life would be so much better and you will be much happier if you had money.  When you are alone you tend to think your life will be so much happier once you are in a committed relationship. However when you are rich, it seems like happiness is no longer determined by how much money you have or the number of people you have around you but rather is determined by the ability to get high to escape the empty feeling they experience. Whatever the reason they chose to indulge in drug use, I have no doubt that it was stimulated by the need to be happy.

One mantra that I said frequently in response to people’s inquiry of how I am doing is “I’m good. Nothing a man and/or some money can’t fix”. I said that because most of my issues were either as a result of my spending too much time alone or some circumstance which required money to relieve that burden. I mean think about it, money is a necessary commodity. We need it to ensure almost all of our everyday needs are met, ie., food, shelter, clothing, toiletries, utilities, etc. Likewise, as humans we also need companionship on some level. 

It’s like Maslow’s hierarchy of needs which outlines a hierarchal structure for what motivates human behavior. In the absence of "struggle", people seek for other things to fill that void. Once you satisfy the needs on the lower level of the pyramid, you are motivated to move on to the next level. Unfortunately, like so many, it was difficult for me to focus on anything above those five levels because it became a balancing act trying to move forward while maintaining levels I had achieved.  However, once my physical and financial needs were met I was a happy camper, but my happiness was short lived because the constant need to satisfy those two needs was a vicious cycle which had to be repeated in order to maintain my state of happiness. It was also sucking the life out of me as I was experiencing emotional highs and lows that could be very stressful at times.  

As a coping skill, I eventually chose to focus more on my financial needs more so than my physical need for companionship. I convinced myself that I did not really need that. As time went by my desire for companionship diminished. At least that was my thought process at the time. Another coping skill I implemented was to seek spiritual fulfillment in order to get through those down times. Exercising my faith to believe deliverance will come was a necessary practice to get me through those days when the bills were high and my money was low. God forbid some other unexpected issue should arise, ie car trouble, or an illness, I would be thrown into “crisis/survival” mode. It was at those times that I dug deep to find spiritual guidance to help me navigate through those tough times. I was operating in “crisis/survival mode” for so long that it became a way of life for me and I did not expect anything to change. I was convinced that what I was going through was the “norm” and everyone was going through or experiencing the same things. Moreover, I certainly did not think I could change the way things were – it was what it was – life.

Then in 2006 I was exposed to the book The Secret and it changed my life. It was the end of life as I knew it and the beginning of self-sustaining happiness - the likes of which I had never experienced.  It took some doing but in time I was able to recondition/reprogram my subconscious mind to rid it of the things I was taught to accept about life. What I found was that my life was a sum result of all my beliefs and all my experiences (good/bad). Everything I believed about life was manifesting in my world every day. Everything I was ever taught about money - that you had to work hard to get it and even harder to keep it; health – that high blood pressure and diabetes ran in our family so I was prone to get them; and even about God – that I had to go to church regularly if I wanted His blessings; all shaped my life as I knew it. But once I started practicing the concept of what I read in The Secret and implementing the principles of the law of attraction I saw my life turn around. One of the things I learned was to expect good things and to feel good if not great every day.  In fact my new personal mantra is just that, “My only job today is to feel good if not great, because thoughts become things”.

Today I can truly say that I am happy regardless of what is going on around me. My happiness is no longer measured or dependent on anyone or anything outside of me because happiness is a state of mind. My happiness is not determined by my circumstances but rather how I feel about myself. My faith in God is stronger than ever and I have been delivered from the crippling thoughts/beliefs about life which limited my ability to be truly happy. With that being said, if you purpose in your heart to feel good, if not great and do whatever you need to do to feel that way no matter what is going on in your life and expect only good things to happen to and for you every day, then you have truly arrived and you have unlocked the key to happiness.  I’m Just Saying. I got issues – what about you?

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