Yesterday we celebrated Father’s Day. As always, I wished
all
the single mother’s I know a happy Father’s Day. Some were receptive and
gave the usual “thank you” in response. Yet there were a few who reminded me
that they were not fathers. As I browsed
through my social media home page I came across a few posting by both genders
which seemingly criticized the practice of wishing happy Father’s Day to single
mothers. As I read each post, I found the reasoning or rational offered for the
denouncement interesting. A few offered
that while they were single moms, they were not fathers and already had a day
which celebrated/honored them. One person made a reference to single fathers
who were raising their child(ren) on their own and offered that these single fathers
would never say “I am a great mother” on Mother's day. While that may or may
not be true, the fact is everyone has their opinion on why they would or would
not celebrate their accomplishments as a single parent on the opposite gender
day. As I pondered this issue, one question
came to mind - is Father’s Day/Mother’s Day really gender specific?
To answer that question I looked at what Biblical principles
teaches me as well as my own personal experience on the subject to analyze my rational/reason
why I give props to mothers on Father’s Day and vice versa. To help you better understand my view it is
important that you know that I subscribe to the notion of traditional gender specific
roles meaning I believe that men and women have specific roles that they should
fill in relationships as well as child rearing and that a void is created when
they fail to fulfill those roles. So when applied to mothers and fathers, I believe
that they both are responsible for specific things in the raising of a child.
Women were created and wired to be nurturers, just as men were created and
wired to be providers and protectors among other things. However their experiences
and upbringing either enhances or deters it.
Normally when these two roles
exist in a child’s life you have a harmonious existence where each party pull
their weight and there is no strain or cross over. Everyone knows what is
expected of them and they operate accordingly.
The mother cares for the child(ren) and the home and the father provides
financial stability and protection for his family. While disciplining of the child(ren)
falls under the mother’s role, there are times when the father’s input becomes
necessary. 
The issue then arises when one of these roles is missing
from the equation. As a nation it seems like it has become the norm for the man
to be the missing component from the equation, however it can just as easily be
the woman that is missing in action (MIA).
Naturally the absence of a parent does not dissolve or void the role
they play in the child’s life. As a result the remaining parent must now step
in and fill both roles. If it is the man that is MIA, the woman must now assure
the role of the provider and protector as well as continue to perform her role
as the nurturer, home keeper, and disciplinarian. Likewise if it’s the woman that is MIA, then
the man must now assume the role of the nurturer, home keeper, and disciplinarian
as well as continue to perform his role as the provider and protector. This dual role can be further complicated if
there is no family support in play. While each role in and of itself can be
both time consuming and exhausting, coupled together they can be downright difficult
to accomplish effectively. Mainly because it was not meant for one person to
assume both roles. 
The thing is, when done right, there are literally tons of
side effects of being a single parent including but not limited to the lack of
a social life – been there, done that.
However many have done it and very successfully I might add. So forgive me if I feel the need to give
kudos to those who have demonstrated that they have the staying power to
perform both roles, sometimes to their own detriment. Giving a single parent kudos for being both
the nurturer and the provider for their child(ren) is no way a signal that I am
trying to diminish the fact that the child(ren) has a biological father
somewhere out there and the key words here are “somewhere out there”. So yes, I
agree that women cannot literally be a “father” because that word is gender
specific just as “mother” is gender specific.
However, they do assume the responsibilities associated with the role of
a father in the absence of the father and vice versa. Therefore it’s okay to
say good job when they are forced to step up and fill the role of the missing
parent. I’m just saying – I got issues. What about you?)i(
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