Disrespect, Nothing to Sneeze At

Maybe it’s just me but I get real irritated when people I don’t know addresses me by my first name, like we are old friends or something. Just today I was watching Judge Judy when my cellphone rang. True to form I answered because I always answer my phone when I’m able, because I never know who may be calling. The lady on the other end asked if this was me using my Christian first name. I quickly said, “This is Ms. Million. How may I help you?”, in an attempt to correct her error. However, she showed no sign that she caught what I was trying to show her as she proceeded to use my first name again and again throughout the conversation. By now I’m already irritated because first off she is interrupting my TV session, and secondly she showed disrespect to me by calling me by my first name as I don’t know her.  Needless-to-say I cut the conversation short and returned to my show.

This is not the first time I have encountered this type of situation. Every year I receive several phone calls from various organizations seeking donations for their cause. Without fail someone will undoubtedly call me by my first name at the onset of the conversation. It may be a strategy they were taught as part of their solicitation training. Perhaps the premise here is that it will give a friendlier feel and will make me more receptive to their cause. Perhaps the younger generation doesn't mind that type of  strategy, but I’m sure older generations may be a bit offended. s urtheres me even more irritabkow full mouth by their first name. It'it will make me more receptive to their case. Truth is aTruth is all they accomplish is to irritate me and cause me to be less receptive to their cause. It further irritates me when they give no heed to my gentle nudge for them to correct their mistake.  I know this is the 21^st century and all but there are some communication etiquette that is worth keeping or preserving. When I was growing up you did not address an adult by their first name unless you included a “Mr.” or a “Ms.” before it, otherwise you used their last names in much the same way, i.e., Mr. Frances, Mrs. Frances, etc.  Even as an adult, you definitely didn’t call another adult you did not know personally full mouth by their first name.  To do so would earn you the label of being disrespectful. 

As I said before, maybe it’s just me. Maybe nobody else out there cares that people who don’t know them personally calls them by their first name, but I do. I know it has a lot to do with my culture and how I was raised. I was taught to always show respect to my elders, especially adults in authority positions, i.e., doctors, judges, police officers, etc. Back in February I had to go to court for a traffic violation – the officer claimed I failed to stop at the stop sign before exiting my subdivision. When I got to the courthouse for the hearing I was amazed at the number of people waiting to go into the building. The line was literally wrapped around the building.  As I made my way into the courtroom there was easily over 60 people in the room.  Some of them looked like they just rolled out of bed and put their shoes on as they were not dressed appropriately. Sure there is the usual signage that indicates no short sleeves, slippers or cutoffs; otherwise I shudder to think what people would show up in. What happened to basic judgment in choosing something more appropriate based on the venue?

Anyway, the bailiff did her due diligence to advise us of our rights and gave instructions as to how to enter our plea, however she failed to instruct us to stand when addressing the judge. Sure she said the usual, “all rise” when the judge entered the courtroom, but that was it.  I watched in awe as each person before me and after me remained seated while responding to the judge’s inquiry as to their guilt or innocence. When it was my turn I stood up, looked at the judge and responded, “Not guilty Your Honor.” I could not help but noticed a slight reaction on the judge’s face. Could be the fact that I stood up when I spoke to her or it could very well be that I addressed her as “Your Honor.” Either way it turned out to be a good day for me. Not only was I dressed appropriately, but I also showed proper respect.  As I presented my case I allowed the officer to recount her version of the incident without interruptions. When it was my turn to speak I pointed out the error in the officer’s recollection of the incident in a manner that allowed the judge to come to the conclusion that I was not guilty of the violation. You could hear the gasps from the onlookers as they heard the judge announced her decision that she is ruling that I was not guilty.

Showing proper respect to my elders and people in authority comes easy for me as that is how I was raised.  I was taught to show the utmost respect to my elders, especially to those in any branch of law enforcement, i.e., police officers, judges, etc.  I sometimes get disgusted when I see people blatantly disrespect these posts. I also know that sometimes people who hold these positions may not deserve the respect, but that does not negate my responsibility to show them respect anyway. Seems like the values and personal structure of our society has slowly eroded because no one took issue as it happened.  Some people complain that this generation seems more rude and disrespectful than ever, yet they say or do nothing to try and rectify it. Then they wonder why each generation seems to have less etiquette than previous generations. It starts with the little things, i.e., calling grown folks by their first name, then it progress to lack of respect for other things. Maybe more people should take issues with unsolicited callers addressing them by their first names. I’m just saying – I got issues. What about you?)i(

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