At times I'm faced with some difficult choices and the choice
I make may not be the most popular one but it is what's best for me - at the time. In
the not so distant past I didn't always choose what was best for me. I was more
concerned with ensuring the comfort and well-being of others than I was with my
own comfort and well-being. Everyone's needs superseded mines. Maybe it was my
unconscious desire to be accepted or to be liked - I don't know for sure. But what I
do know for sure is that experience has thought me that I am no good to anyone, especially myself, if I don't
take care of me first. It took a while but I finally get it. It's like when you are on an airplane and the flight
attendant informs you of the safety guidelines at the beginning of the flight.
There's that part where she mentions that "in the event that the cabin loses air pressure that oxygen masks would drop from the compartment above your
seat." She advises that you secure your mask first before attempting to help the
person next to you, more specifically a small child or elderly person who may
be traveling with you. I must admit that I struggled with that concept for
years. It made no sense to me that you would not help them before attending to
yourself. My innate instinct would be to secure the mask on the child/elderly
person first then see to mines. In fact that has been my personal method of
operation for years. Always taking care of and seeing to the needs of others
before my own and at times to my own detriment. Even now I still struggle with
denouncing that concept and it's hard. I have to remind myself daily to take care of me first.
As a mother, as a wife, as a grandmother, as a friend, as a
daughter, as a sister, and as a girlfriend
it was hard for me not to reach out and extend my resources to try to
fill a void in the lives of those close to me and at times complete strangers.
I recall many times standing in line in a store and the person in front of me
would not have enough for their purchase and they would asked the cashier to
remove items to make it add up to the amount of money they had, if not less.
Without thinking I would intervene by offering to pay the difference so they
could be on their way. I know what you are thinking and the answer is
"no" - I've never been on the receiving end of that gesture but it
didn't matter because it's not about me. It was about filling a void for
others. I know firsthand the challenges life brings and if I can help someone
else get through, that made me happy. My selfless, unconditional willingness to
extend my resources to help others made me a great asset to those in my circle.
Recently I learned a very hard but valuable lesson about
helping people. Without going into details I will share that sometimes people
have a way of taking advantage of your kindness and it can end up costing you your
friendship - among other things. Maybe one day I'll share the details but for
today I just want to reiterate the need to take care and watch out for
yourself. Don't stop helping people but use every precaution when you do.
Contrary to what I thought before this situation happened to me, trust is not
something that should be given to everyone. How you chose to dispense of it
should be done with discretion and caution.
Some say you're never too old to learn. Yet there are still
some who say you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Well I'm no dog so I'll
embrace the "never too old to learn" bit as it's more
appropriate. They also say the longer
you live the more you learn. This too is also very appropriate. As I said
before, life has taught me some very valuable lessons and while I'm still not
opposed to helping others who are in need I now chose to protect my resources
and myself by taking care of me first. It’s called self-preservation and I am
learning to embrace it. I’m just saying - I got issues. What about you?)i( #IGotIssues #SelfPreservation #LessonsLearned
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