By all accounts, and by that I mean my Internet search, nothing significant
happened on November 20th 1945, except for the twenty-four
high-ranking Nazis who went on trial in Nuremberg, Germany, for the horrific
crimes they committed during World War II. But for me that day was much more significant
as it was a benchmark day which marked the beginning to my direct existence. You
see on that faithful Tuesday 68 years ago a young woman gave birth to a bouncing
baby girl – my mom – Ineta Lafeta Thomas also known as “Iotha” – on a small
island in the West Indies called Antigua.
Iotha was the fourth of six children born to Virginia Heskey and Charles
Thomas. From what I can tell based on stories I have heard she came from very
humble beginnings and although she did not have much of a childhood because the
times forced her to grow up fast, she did not let any of her experiences go to
waste but rather chose to embrace everything that happened to her in order to help
shape her into the woman she became. I’m
not sure if that was on purpose or accidentally on purpose but either way, I
would learn to appreciate her wisdom as she imparted it to those who came
across her path. As such she was independent and modeled what she preached. Not
only does she talk the talk, but she walks the walk as well.
While her mom was lucky enough to live out her days, her dad died when
she was only 13 years old which may have had a lasting effect on her but it is
hard to say for sure as she is a very private person and does not speak much of
her early years. In fact she may just take me to task for sharing this. However,
I do recall that on those rare occasions that she mentioned her dad it was with
fondness. I think it had something to do with her having to play referee. That’s
all I’m going to say on that – lol. Despite her limited formative education she
knew enough at an early age to desire a better way of life for herself. I’m not
sure what brought her to the Virgin Islands per se, but on or about June 10,
1962 she found herself on the shores of St. Croix, one of three islands which make
up the US Virgin Islands. She was not even 18 yet but was resilient and motivated enough
to leave her native island and travel to unchartered waters to make the best of
whatever came her way. It was a difficult time for immigrants back in those
days let alone a single teenage girl. There was always the threat of
deportation for those who did not have legal standings (green paper/green card)
to be on the island. For many, their days were spent looking over their shoulders
and nights spent sleeping with one eye open trying to evade capture and
deportation. Unfortunately Iotha was not immune to that prospect either as she
too found herself evading immigration officers on a regular basis until she was
able to secure legal representation in the form of “bonding” which was much
like a work visa. 
The next 51 years or so would bring about many changes in her life and
while she never marry, she has had a full life: she has two children who gave
her several grandchildren, she went back to school and obtained her high school
diploma, put herself through college, went to driving school and got her driver’s
license, bought her first car, secured property and built her home where she
still resides to this day, and yes, when time permits she travels to other far
away destinations. Her early work history included working at Pelican Cove, being
a domestic engineer in private homes, and at times a live-in nanny or care
taker for some prominent families on the island, i,e., the Dusseau’s, Mimme, the
Brim’s, the Hilty’s, the Calderons, the Bressi’s, etc. Oh and less I forget, she has also been known to play nurse’s aide to the sick and the dying. She even taught herself
how to sew free-hand and did alterations for Violette’s Boutique for a time. She would later work at Pink Fancy where I got my very first real pet - a cat we called Jimmy.
When I was growing up she made most of my clothes by hand and while
I didn't know it or realized it at the time, I was wearing “designer one of a kind” dresses. I know,
a lot escaped me when I was growing up like the fact that I grew up in a condominium
near the beach with a panoramic view of the ocean (Ralph De Chabert). But I
digress. As I was saying, Iotha was not, is not afraid of hard work and built
her reputation on hard work, honesty, and integrity. She would often say there
was no shame in cleaning toilets and that it was an honest day’s work. As a way of instilling in me the value of gaining
people’s trust, especially when they let you in their homes, she would frequently take me to work with her. Working along side my mom was a teachable moment. It was during those times that she would share little nuggets of discipline and self control with me. She shared that even though the lady of the house may say "help yourself to what's in the fridge", that was not the time to go crazy. In fact, except for a cup of water mom was very adamant about not touching anything in the fridge even though it was offered.
I was seven years old when my mom found salvation and it would become
her saving grace over the years. It was her faith that gave her strength when
things got tough and it was what she turned to when she had no one else to turn
to. She subscribed to Life Study Fellowship and would place a dime in an envelope every morning as she knelt to pray. If I was ever tempted to take the dimes out mom made sure to let me know the wrath of God or "God curse" would follow me if I stole the Lord's money. So much for buying candy on the way to school - lol. She would often sing out loud as she did her chores. In fact there are
times I catch myself humming some of those same old hymns while I do my chores.
She was not the typical mom and I must admit that it took me getting older to
fully appreciate the woman she is and all the “life lessons” she tried to teach me along the way when I was
growing up. Looking back I can see now how everything my mom did was strategic and
meant to teach me discipline and self-control. Two necessary traits that I
gladly embraced and for which I give credit for my life being as stable as it is
today. I see so much of my mom in a lot of what I do and it’s interesting to say
the least. For instance, before she bought her first car we literally walked
everywhere she needed to go – from East End to Questa Verde, to Sugar Beach, not
having a car did not stand in her way of getting there. She did not use not
having a car as an excuse to miss work. In fact she rarely missed work.
Regardless
of what was going on in her life mom always went to work. I can’t recall a time
when mom did not work. Well there were a couple of days that she took to her
bed when I was twelve or thirteen but that was understandable. She had just
learned that a dear friend of hers had died in a car accident in Hawaii that Christmas.
Other than that she has been a real trouper. 
Despite the challenges she faced in life over the years she is never too
busy to help others along the way. She is always adopting strangers and looking
out for those who are less fortunate than she is. I remember there was an old
man that used to live in a little shack under a mango tree next to the Pennsylvania bank down town. That was before they changed the name to the Scotia Bank. Anyway, Ma
used to go take care of “little man” as she called him. She would clean out his
little shack, made sure he ate and would sit and talk with him. I remember when
he died, Ma was very shaken up. It was the second of only two funerals I had attended
in my young life. The first was for my Uncle Winston. Then there was Owen, this
young guy that used to come by the apartment. I was scared of him, not sure why.
Anyway, mom would feed him and share the word of God with him. Sadly Owen was
killed by a car while riding his bike on the highway. But he would not be the
last person she would reach out to. Over the years she has ministered to so many
(Lettie, Faith, Kent, etc.) and continues to help those who are in need.
Iotha is a woman of strong faith and integrity who continues to live her
life as she sees fit with no apologies or regrets. She has lots of wisdom and is
not afraid to share it with anyone who will listen. She is able to fit in no
matter where she may go – from the company of dignitaries (governors, senators,
doctors or lawyers) to the common bum on the street, she has won the respect of
everyone she meets. She conducts herself with humility and while she won’t bite
her tongue she is able to convey her point with respect and dignity without reverting
to degrading tactics. So on this 68th
year of her birth I celebrate my mom and all her accomplishments, big and
small. And while we don’t always see eye to eye and often have disagreements I
want her to know that I am eternally grateful for the life lessons she has
thought me whether intentionally or unintentionally.
For leaving work to come to the hospital when I had a seizure in the
first grade – thank you. For taking me to Puerto Rico when I was 10 for medical
evaluation – thank you. For taking me to the hospital in the fore day morning
when we had no car and had to walk back home to St. John from Charles Harwood – thank you. For making my one of
a kind designer prom and class night dresses – thank you. For allowing me to keep Jimmy (pet cat) even though he liked to pee in your shoes – thank you. For bringing me Cheetos
when I was pregnant with Gloria – thank you (I’m still addicted to Cheetos –
lol). 
For preparing oats for breakfast when I was growing up – thank you. For
making sure my cocoa was not too hot – thank you. For fishing the needle out my
cocoa before I swallowed it – thank you. For inspiring me not to have more
children until I could take care of them – thank you. For telling me not to be
a dish cloth/hand towel for men – thank you. For not using profanity in my presence –
thank you. For teaching me how to be domesticated – thank you. For allowing me
to struggle and find myself thus build my character – thank you. For showing me
how to be self-sufficient and not depend on others for my happiness – thank you.
For dragging me to church – thank you. For teaching me how to pray – thank you.
For instilling in me the desire not to lie – thank you. For teaching me the importance
of integrity – thank you.
For instilling value and morals in me – thank you. For helping me develop good work ethics – thank you. For helping me get my first home – thank you. For modeling discipline and self-control for me to follow – thank you. For being the woman that birth me – thank you. For being a “no nonsense” kind of woman – thank you. May God grant you many more years on this side of the earth and may they be the best years ever. Happy birthday Ma! You are the best mother for me.
Fun facts
So, how much did things cost back in 1945? Well
for starters, the average cost of a new house was just $4.600.00. Average wages
per year was $2,400.00. The cost of a gallon of gas was 15 cents. Average cost
for house rent was $60.00 per month. Average
cost of a new car was $1,020.00. By far everything back then was so much more affordable. Wonder if we will ever see those averages again. Somehow I don't think so. I’m just saying – I got issues. What about
you?)i(© Copyrights All Right Reserved
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